Thursday, August 31, 2006


I decided, at the end of last school year, that I was tired of fighting the fight with the kids about the TV on school nights. Occasionally they would come home from school and do their homework right away; other days (most days) they would come home, make a beeline for the tv, grab a snack, or go outside to play, and before I knew quite what had happened, it was 7pm, homework hadn’t been done, baths needed to be taken, rooms cleaned, and we were running out of time. Which meant I would start rushing the kids, and nagging them to hurry up, and they would respond by thanking me kindly for my loving guidance digging in their heels and moving even slower, until I would be screaming like the shrew that I am, that it was past bedtime and WHY WAS NO ONE READY FOR BED????? It had become a stupid battle that was not enjoyable and very stupid and stressful. Did I mention stupid? So I decided, that being the fabulous parent I am, it was time I did something about it.

I informed everyone that when school started this fall, we would begin a new routine, also. One that was comprised of coming home, eating a quick snack, and doing all homework immediately. Because I am a fabulous parent, and this will be good for my children. Then, once all homework and studying was completed, then and *only* then, could the kids go outside to play, or play in the house. But under no condition was the TV coming on Monday through Thursday. Because fabulous parents have wonderful systems like this, that work well. And I am nothing if not fabulous. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Also, we live in the Eastern Time Zone, which means that infernal Disney station begins a movie every night thirty minutes before the kids’ bedtime, and I was sick and tired of listening to them moan and complain when I would turn the TV off in the middle of the movie each evening. No More!!! No More of them complaining and No More of me having to listen to it! Because I am too fabulous to deserve their whining!

You know what? It’s actually gone very well. A few token gripes, but overall, they don’t seem to have suffered any permanent damage. (Obviously, because I’m fabulous.) It’s a huge relief to look at the clock at 4 or 4:30 and know everyone already has their homework done for the evening and the rest of the night is “free time”. The kids are reading more, because their complaints of “I’m bored!” are met with “Then read a book!” (Or, “Clean the toilet!” and surprisingly, they always choose a book!)

So I was totally patting myself on the back for my fabulousness.

Then, yesterday, it was raining. And the last time I let them play outside in the rain, all I got for it was an extra load of laundry and a wet van interior. Therefore, I decreed, in my fabulousness, that the one exception to the no-tv-rule is the days it is raining. Then, they are allowed to turn on the TV after everyone has finished their homework. And even though my fabulous decree about no-tv has gone well, and I didn’t think they were really missing it, look at the positions they held pretty much without moving the rest of the day:

Hmmmm. Feeling a little TV deprived lately?

And then when I served dinner at 6:31 pm, and turned off the tv, and Kendrie started yelling at me because I had the audacity to turn off “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” (never mind it was a repeat episode that she’s already seen a dozen times) and screaming that she didn’t want to eat dinner with the family, and how mean I am because she NEVER gets to watch TV anymore .....

I knew the next fabulous thing I do will be sell the damn thing on ebay.

Problem solved.

PS. I realize it’s very easy for me to be smug about the NO-TV rule with my kids because *I* don’t watch any TV. So I don’t think they’re missing much. However, if anyone tried to curtail my computer time ….. I would have to rip their arm off and beat them about the head with it.

So, you tell me: Fabulous? Or total hypocrite???? :)

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