Monday, August 28, 2006


Some online friends of ours received very upsetting news today. I know Cam's family could use your positive thoughts and prayers right now. Please stop by his site and let this brave kid know we're all thinking about him.

It only takes one journal entry like his today, to remind me how lucky our family is. We didn't love Kendrie any more than Cam's family loves him. He’s not any less special than she is. His family prayed just as hard as ours, fought just as hard, did the same things we did. He followed a treatment protocol very similar to hers, and I literally get sick to my stomach when I am reminded that there is nothing -- not one thing -- stopping us from traveling down the same difficult road that Cam and his family have been traveling ever since his relapse.

Cancer treatment is frustrating (and terrifying) in that regard --- we do exactly what the doctors say, following instructions to the letter, give our kids drugs, and shots, and radiation, and restrict their diets and lifestyles, and they have surgeries, and procedures, and we wait, and hope …. And there’s no guarantee that the cancer won’t come back.

Cameron actually finished his leukemia treatment about six months before Kendrie was diagnosed. Finished. Done. Then, he relapsed. Had a transplant, relapsed again. Cam hasn't caught a break yet, since that initial relapse.

Julianna’s dad made some comments on her site a while back that really made me pause ….. something about {I’m paraphrasing here} every kid who dies from cancer, relapsed first. And every kid who relapsed? Was most likely doing well at some point. Into remission with rapid fire success? Doesn’t mean you won’t relapse. Handled treatment with few complications? Doesn’t mean you won’t relapse. Completed treatment with no delays? Doesn’t mean you won’t relapse. Been off treatment for a year? Two years? Five years? Ten years? Yep, you guessed it; doesn’t mean you won’t relapse.

Kendrie has been off-treatment for 256 days. That’s 256 nights I’ve gone to bed, grateful that she didn’t relapse “today”. And knowing in my gut that nothing, absolutely nothing, separates us from Cam’s family, except luck. No amount of prayer, or wishful thinking, or healthy lifestyle, or good works, or hard work. It’s luck of the draw, and Cam has been dealt a really crummy hand.

Thinking of you, Cam.

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