Tuesday, March 21, 2006



Kendrie -- day 97 OT
Blaine -- countdown to radiation

I have a confession to make: I have a new, favorite device for the bedroom. In fact, I have TWO --- one for each hand! Woo-hoo!!! Now, before your minds go crashing any further down in the gutter, let me back up:

There is nothing as ugly on this planet …. not even a fat man in a Speedo …. As ME, when I am sleep-deprived. And I don’t mean physically ugly, despite the crazy hair and bags under my eyes. I mean ugly as in grumpy, crabby, mean. No patience, no humor, no interest in anything that doesn’t involve ME and a NAP.

So when I came home from my scrapbooking getaway this weekend, slightly sleep-deprived because my girlfriends forced me at gunpoint to stay up late, gossiping and eating chocolate every night, Blaine recognized the (not too bad at this point, but it was coming) Ugly-Face and quickly recommended I go to bed early and he would put the kids to bed … even though he was feeling a wee bit “off”, himself. Not one to turn down a suggestion like that, off to bed I went, with visions of me, sleeping soundly through the night in my OWN bed, dancing before my eyes.

Now, I have to tell you that in addition to the fat, swollen feet, I have also become the proud owner of fat, chubby hands the past few weeks. Hands that no longer can accommodate a wedding ring … OR an anniversary band. Or even a watch because my wrists are so … well, shall we say, pleasantly plump. So, when you have big-fat-pregnancy-hands that can’t be held at higher than a 5-degree angle without going all numb and tingly, sleeping becomes an issue. And never more so than Sunday night.

I woke up, no lie, at least once every half hour with aches and pain and tingling and numbness in my wrists and fingers. Miserable, I tell you. First I would flap my hands about, like a demented bird with broken wings, trying to get blood flow resumed. Then I would have to sit straight up, hands hanging down my sides, for ten to fifteen minutes each time to finally get the blood flowing again. Then I would lay back down, only to wake again half an hour later. Finally I tried sleeping sitting up in a chair in the living room, only to realize how far it was to the bathroom (since I’m now getting up a dozen times each night to use the potty, too.) It was the most pathetic night of constantly interrupted sleep I have ever had, and that INCLUDES when I was breastfeeding my children so many years ago!

Add in to the mix a 9-yr old daughter who came stumbling into our room around 1am, complaining that she was itchy. Ah, yes, here comes my Mother of the Year Trophy now. I bought the kids St. Patrick’s Day tattoos last week (because I am *SO* cool, right?) and she had some kind of allergic reaction to the soap we used to wash off her face and forearms, hence the complaining and the itching and the HIVES all over her.

By the next morning, I’d had a total of about 23 minutes sleep. I had one daughter who was covered in red, itchy welts, and a husband who, like it’s not enough recovering from major surgery and oh, yeah, having CANCER, had decided to catch whatever stomach bug it is going around. I swear, he didn’t get out of bed all day except to steal some of Kendrie’s zofran, then throw it up four minutes later.

So I’m stomping around the house on my fat, puffy feet, grumbling about “who do you people think I am? Florence-freaking-Nightingale?” and gazing longingly at the sofa …. it was overcast and raining, NONE of the anti-itch creams I had were working on Brayden, she was bitching, Blaine was moaning, and all I wanted was a NAP people, a NAP, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK????

Anyway, we made it through the day, and on the recommendation of a friend, I went to the drugstore last night and bought wrist splints, specifically advertised as “good for carpal tunnel sufferers”. I mean, it’s not like I earn a living splitting chicken bones or anything, and I have to tell you how ugly they are --- they make me look like the really serious guys at the bowling alley, know who I’m talking about? But I was desperate for sleep and willing to try anything.

Oh, my gosh! They totally worked!!! I slept great last night! (Well, I still got up a dozen times to go potty, but that’s another story.) No numbness, no tingling, no aches or pains --- it was fantastic! I woke up with a completely different attitude; refreshed, happy, eager to embrace my beautiful children and start the new day (ok, I know, I’m exaggerating now.) But you get the point.

Blaine feels better, Brayden has been properly treated by a doctor (the hives have spread and she now looks like a “before” picture on a Proactive infomercial -- but I think we've got a handle on it now) and the sun came back out today. Wow, what a difference a good night’s sleep can make!

Now, just crossing my fingers I sleep as well this evening. Actually, no, I’m not going to cross my fingers. They might start to tingle.


QUOTE OF THE DAY: When the doctor told Brayden she would be starting a five-day course of prednisone, I said to her, “Hey, you’re going to be on the same steroids Kendrie was on” and Brayden replied, “Oh, great. Now I’m going to get grumpy.”

2ND QUOTE OF THE DAY: “Holy Crap, are you KIDDING me????” said by me, when Brayden announced she was too big for the kids’ menu and asked if she could order off the regular menu at lunch today, only to tell the waiter that she wanted the steak and shrimp combo, costing $14. I don’t know which was worse … that I felt so sorry for her little hive-covered face that I let her order it, or the fact she actually ate most of it!!! Um, did my children not get the memo I sent, about them staying kids a whole lot longer?!?!?!

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