Monday, February 20, 2006

MY BUSY, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY DAY (aka I’m So Important)

Day 67 OT

So, yesterday being Sunday, and us being heathens and all, we didn’t take the kids to church. Instead, we decided to have a “lazy day around the house”, which translates into “I’m bored, there’s nothing to do” in nine different languages. I have to thank my girlfriend Jadine, though, who on my recent trip to Texas taught me the golden parenting nugget of: “Only stupid people say they’re bored …. You have a perfectly good brain, so think of something to do and quit complaining.” Now, my kids were still complaining that they were bored yesterday, but Kellen, at least, added the following: “Well, I know I’m not stupid, but I *am* still bored.”

Anyway, just to give you a glimpse into the demanding, fulfilling, rewarding life of Kristie Escoe, I thought I would break down yesterdays’ schedule for you:

7:30 am: Wake up. Think about how much I would like to go back to sleep.

8:00 am: Get out of bed

8:10 am: Tell everyone that they are eating Cocoa Krispies cereal for breakfast because I am just too lazy to make pancakes. Promise to make pancakes tomorrow.

8:11 am: Pour myself a bowl of Cocoa Krispies cereal. Hey, these things are pretty yummy. Who needs pancakes?

8:15 until 9:30 am: Lounge around on the sofa, watching cartoons with the kids. (This is what the experts call Parent-Child Quality Bonding Time, in case you need to justify this sort of behavior.)

9:30 am: Tell Blaine all the quality bonding time has left me worn out and I’m going to go lie down for a nap.

11:30 am: Wake from nap. Change from sleep t-shirt into daytime t-shirt. This is noteworthy because it constitutes the productivity highlight of the day.

11:40 am: Wander into the kitchen, sit down and watch Blaine unload the dishwasher. Think to myself, “I’m bored.”

11:45 am: Eat left-over vegetable pizza for lunch. If you purposely choose the leftovers that you know none of the kids like, then you get out of having to make them lunch at the same time and can enjoy your own lunch in peace.

12 noon: Sit back down in the living room with the kids, who are watching a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Despite your protestations that this might be the dumbest movie ever made, find yourself getting sucked in and watching it with them. Well, we’ll just classify it as even *more* quality bonding time.

1 pm to 3 pm: Honestly, these hours were kind of a blur yesterday. I remember sitting on the sofa, reading a book. And playing on the computer for a while. And supervising the building of the world’s biggest pillow/blanket infrastructure known to mankind. I also remember thinking about doing some laundry, and taking another nap, but I never did. I’m not quite sure what else I accomplished. Or didn’t accomplish.

3 to 4 pm: Ahhhh, Blaine finally caves in to the children’s demands to go outside and play basketball with them. I refused all along, since it wasn’t even 50 degrees. But once he took them out, it gave me an hour of peace and quiet to, uh, what did I do? Oh, yeah, I sat back down on the sofa and read some more.

4 to 6 pm: Blaine took Kellen to basketball practice, so the girls and I sat down and watched two hours of The Learning Channel; “A Face for Yulce” and “The 750 pound Man”. Although their total TV time for the day is already up to about ten hours, and I’m pretty sure their brains will be leaking out of their ears soon, I tell myself that this is an educational opportunity for me to warn them of the dangers of playing with fire and eating too much junk food. So really, I’m not a lazy parent, I am a concerned one.

6 pm: The boys come home from practice and I realize, belatedly, that I have prepared nothing for dinner.

6:01 pm: Immense relief that there is still half of a pot roast in the fridge from dinner that nobody wanted Friday night.

6:15 to 8 pm: Again, a blur. I’m not really sure *what* we did. Or didn’t do. But I know it involved a lot of kvetching about the pot roast.

8 pm: Sigh loudly, and agree the kids can stay up to watch “Max Keeble’s Big Move” on Disney. Truly, is another two hours of tv going to hurt at this point? Under the guise of "parental observation", I lay down on the sofa and watch it with them.

10 pm: Put the kids to bed, and then go to bed myself because I am so exhausted from the events of the day.

So, today is President’s Day here in the US, and my kids and my husband are both home for the day. Without a doubt, I need to get out of this computer chair, into the shower, get dressed, and find something for us to do.

Otherwise we risk another day as laborious and arduous as yesterday. And I just don’t know if my butt can take it.

So, how are YOU spending your President’s Day?

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