Things I Learned Today

Updated to add: Mamasita, yes, of course invite me to your cabin! As long as it has electricity, heat in the winter, a/c in the summer, a functioning kitchen, and running water, I LOVE camping! It's tent-camping I don't "do". My rule is: If I have to get up in the middle of the night and put on shoes and grab a flashlight to go potty??? It's too rustic for me.

I actually enjoy hiking and nature and trees and wildlife and all that crap, if its in the right environment. My two recent visits to Alaska??? LOVED THEM! I want a cool, beautiful day where I wander aimlessly, dressed in comfy jeans and boots and plaid flannel, taking beautiful pictures of the breathtaking scenery. I like fishing, and nature walks, and four-wheeling ---- AS LONG AS THEY DON'T INVOLVE SWEATING!!
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I went as a chaperone with my daughter's entire 3rd grade on a field trip to Red Rock Canyon today. While there, I learned quite a bit ... both in general, and about myself personally. I thought I would share them with you. That's just how I roll.

1. Red Rock Canyon is a state park and "oasis" (if you believe the brochures) located in Oklahoma. More specifically, an outdoor nature-park type place, located in some kind of canyon, with walking trails and hiking trails and small cliffs and whatever other kind of outdoors-y crap you might like if you are into outdoors-y crap.

2. I am not into outdoors-y crap.

3. I do not like the outdoors.

4. I do not like humidity.

5. It rained this week, and was therefore humid. (see #4)

6. I do not like nature.

7. I do not like hiking.

8. I most emphatically do not like sweating.

9. Mainly, I do not like taking nature walks or hiking in the outdoor nature areas which cause me to sweat.

10. I do not like the way my bra feels when it is wet because it is sticking to my disgusting wet sweaty body.

11. I do not like bugs.

12. I do not like mud.

13. I do not like trees and shrubs and sticks and grass which are prickly and pokey and stick me in the legs.

14. I do not like to sweat.

15. I do not like climbing up hills. Or down hills. Or around or on or over or under any kind of hill.

16. I do not like when it has been raining and the ground is wet and slippery and I fall down with an expensive camera in my hand.

17. I do not like yelling at children to "Step back from the edge of the pond I said step back before you fall in for God's sake what part of step back do you not understand and if your 9-yr old rear falls in that water you better be able to swim is all I'm saying because I'm NOT coming in after you!!!"

18. I do not like balancing on skinny logs over mud puddles.

19. Did I mention I do not like sweating?

Here are a few things that I *DID* like today:

I liked watching my daughter play kickball with her classmates:



I liked watching her walk along the nature trail:



I liked watching how happy it make her to climb all over the boulders:



I liked watching her be silly, like the 9-year old she is:



I liked watching her cross rivers, streams, mud puddles:



Most of all, I liked loved, loved, loved with all my heart when she walked up to me on the trail, slipped her hand in mine, and told me how happy she was that I came on the trip.


It *almost* made the sweating worthwhile.

Almost.

Maybe, Sometimes

You know how maybe, sometimes, your mind wanders?

You get so bored with what you’re doing that you totally start to daydream?

You know how maybe, sometimes, you’re daydreaming so much that you just plain forget where you are and what you’re doing?

You know how maybe, sometimes, if you’re not careful, you can act in an inappropriate manner? Not necessarily anything *BAD*, just not necessarily proper?

You know how maybe, sometimes, if you’ve been sitting at your kids’ school for three hours on a hard metal chair, cutting two-hundred and fifty monkey faces out of brown construction paper, by yourself in the teacher’s resource room, for three never-ending hours, with no one for company, except your iPod, and the voices in your head, and so then when a really jamming song comes on ….. oh, I don’t know, like THIS ONE THAT IS PLAYING RIGHT NOW …. You might maybe, sometimes, decide to join the voices in your head with the voice coming out your mouth and start actually singing along and chair dancing because you are OUT OF YOUR MIND WITH BOREDOM CUTTING OUT THESE FLIPPING DAMN MONKEY FACES and so you start grooving and chair-dancing and waving the scissors around and you’re so into your own American Idol performance that you don’t even notice the teachers who come into the room and see everything you’re doing?

Um ….. no?

Oh.

Well.

You know how maybe, sometimes, you’re not allowed to volunteer in an elementary school with small children anymore?????

I’m just saying.

HMMMMM, WHO KNEW I WOULD MISS THE HIDDEN PERKS?

Day 27 OT

Everyone has a few things in life that, no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they want to succeed, they are simply not good at. Or don’t enjoy doing. Or have tried, and should NEVER, EVER do again. For me, it’s singing karaoke in public. Playing any kind of sport that requires any athletic ability in the least. And finding the image in those damn Magic Eye Pictures. No matter how hard I try, listening to my friends go on and on about how easy it is … “just relax your eyes, can’t you see the {insert} duck/bunny/house in the middle? You’re not relaxing” No, no, NO … I can’t see it!!!!! AAAaaggggghhhhh! I hate those things!

Oh, and one other thing I don’t like to do and try to avoid at all costs: spending time with children.

Now, obviously, I have three kids, so I spend time with them, no matter what. And even though they drive me crazy, I usually enjoy being with them.

No, I’m talking about spending my FREE time with children. Specifically, with children that are not my own, doing things that I don’t like to do. Even more specifically, volunteering to read with children at the elementary school my kids attend. Even more, more specifically, ***being volunteered*** to read with kids. Stay-at-home moms everywhere know just what I’m talking about, don’t you?

I spend a LOT of time volunteering at my kids’ school. And I like it. I spend every Tuesday helping three different teachers organize their weekly take-home folders. I am the official PTO secretary and the un-official PTO photographer. So far this year, I have worked Picture Day, the Book Fair, the Secret Santa Workshop, PTO fundraisers, and proctored 4th grade and 5th grade testing. I am in my kids’ classroom for every holiday party, Parent’s Day, Career Day (even though I don’t technically have a career …. at least not one I get paid for!) Craft Day and Cooking Activity, and I have helped make cupcakes to celebrate the PTO monthly birthday party. I have shelved books in the library and helped pass out pizza for reading reward parties. You know what? I don’t mind at all. In fact, I kind of like it.

I like being able to keep an eye on my kids, and on the kids that my kids hang out with. I like getting to know the teachers, the administration, and the other parent volunteers. I like being a part of the activities, most of which are fun. There’s a reason Blaine and I decided I wouldn’t work (besides the fact I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up) …. that we don’t live in a bigger house or drive newer cars or vacation in Acapulco every Spring Break. For now, *this* is my job, and I like it, even though the monetary compensation leaves a little to be desired.

But there is one thing I do NOT like to do: read with children. Read to children. Have children read to me.

I do not like to read to kids,
I do not want to, God forbid.
And if I had to, if I did,
I’d rather eat a giant squid.

If I wanted to work one on one with kids, especially kids who are struggling, I would have gone to school to be a teacher. Or a tutor. Or even taken the class to be a substitute. But it’s not a passion I have. It’s not even something I do very well. I have a tendency to yawn --- a lot --- whenever I’m being read to. It’s boring. It’s even boring when my own kids do it. And really, yawning in front of your own kid is rude enough …. Yawning in front of some other kid, not even related to you, is even ruder.

I’m not good at it. I don’t enjoy it. I. Don't. Want. To.

I tried it last year. For six weeks, I showed up every Thursday afternoon to read with a very sweet boy in the 5th grade. He was a quiet, polite, well-mannered kid. His reading skills were atrocious. Listening to him read made me want to plug my ears with those little things you stick in the ends of your corn on the cob. I was not good at pretending to be fascinated, or thinking up questions to ask him, or quizzing him on what he had just read to see if his problem was actually reading, or retention. Don’t you think if I had ANY of those skills, I would have gone into teaching as a profession???

So, I did what any normal, cowardly, person would do. I lied. I told his teacher that since my youngest daughter was being treated for cancer and I never knew exactly when we might need to go to Atlanta, or when she might be feeling poorly, I didn’t think I was reliable enough to be a weekly reading helper. It was not only a lie, it was a big fat lie. Truth was, I just hated it, but didn’t have the guts to say so.

But it got me out of it, and that's all that mattered.

Then, yesterday, it happened. A different teacher asked if I would be available to come in once a week to be a (sigh) reading tutor. Believe me, I understand that some kids need an extra boost. I understand that there just aren’t enough hours in the day for the teacher to do it all herself, and that stay-at-home moms like me … who have **chosen** to stay home so we can be as involved as possible, are sometimes their best hope for back up.

But please, ask me to help kids make a life-size igloo out of cotton balls, or help with the costumes for the Literary Parade. Ask me to organize the games for 50's Night, or donate for the Bake Sale. Ask me to bring three dozen juice boxes for a class party, or take home seven hundred laminated papers that need to be cut into the shape of Mount Rushmore. I’m happy to sit in for the 3rd grade writing tests next Wednesday and Thursday (that reminds me, I’ve got to put that on my calendar!) or help decorate the bulletin boards in the commons area.

Just whatever you do, don’t ask me to read with kids. Because now that Kendrie is off-treatment, I’ve got to come up with some other fib about why I’m unavailable for that particular project. Who would have ever thought I would long for the “good ole’ days” when I could use her chemo schedule as an excuse???

Wish me luck coming up with another one, because I sure as heck won’t find the courage to just tell the truth.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY:

We were sitting at dinner the other night, trying to entice Kendrie to actually eat some of the fresh fruit I had put on her plate and not make an entire meal out of the shredded cheese we had sitting on the table. I was explaining that shredded cheese is a “topping” for spaghetti, not a food group in and of itself. She said cheese is what she likes (simple enough, right?) and all she wanted for dinner. Exasperated, I made the comment, “Kendrie, before chemo, you used to eat fruit all the time …. You *have* to start eating it again because it’s healthy for you” and Brayden, always the helpful one, chimed in with, “Yeah, but Mom, I remember you saying that the medicine she took might have made her taste bugs like different things.”

Taste bugs?

It was so cute I barely had the heart to correct her. But I did. Because that’s my job as a parent, to squelch every cute thing they do. And try not to yawn when they read to me.

CAN A SCHOOL DAY GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS?

Week #2, LTM

One Year Ago Today: August 23, 2003, I finally broke down and took Kendrie to the doctor. She had been complaining about her arm hurting, and had been limping around for several days, plus had been running a low-grade fever. Since it was a Saturday, we saw whatever practitioner was on duty, not her normal pediatrician. The guy seemed nice enough, but he made me feel silly. “Just a virus, push fluids, tylenol if she continues to complain.” I’m guessing it’s the flu, or maybe even something as mundane as growing pains (although deep down I suspect she got hurt wrestling with her older brother and sister.)


We had such a great day at school on Friday (again, notice I say “we” …. like I’m such an integral part of their day … which I’m not … but I like to think that I am.) I arranged for a Child Life Specialist from our local hospital to come and speak to both Pre-Kindergarten classes about illness, hospitals, doctors, leukemia and Kendrie in particular. Although I had never met this Child Life Specialist before that morning, she was really fabulous at her job and did a great presentation. She talked about cells, ports, chemotherapy, showed the medical-play doll, and then we watched the “Why, Charlie Brown, Why?” video. Then, she really hit it big with the kids when she passed out doctors’ hats, masks and gloves for them all to take home.

Since the presentation ended at recess time, I invited myself back to the playground to hang out with Kendrie’s class during recess. I’m pretty sure around this time Kendrie’s teacher was thinking, “Geez lady, don’t you have anything better to do?” but it was fun. I took lots of photos of the kids, and learned that Kendrie is a swing-hog if given the chance.






Then, that afternoon I was invited back (yes, that’s right, this time I actually had an invitation) to help the kids make their Friendship Salad (little-kid term for ‘big ole bowl of fruit’.) The extra latex gloves passed out by the Child Life Specialist came in handy right about then (just as long as I didn’t have to wear a hair net while I was passing it out) and then I got to stay for the impressive classroom renditions of Musical Chairs, which Kendrie won (the teacher SO had the whole thing rigged since I was standing there watching) and Doggie Doggie Where’s Your Bone, where I learned that Kendrie is either psychic, or cheats.

I also spent four mornings last week volunteering in Kellen’s class, several hours working for the Education Coordinator and sat through a PTO meeting. So for those of you who have left messages in the guestbook about “I must be enjoying my free time now that all three of the kids are in school full time” I just want to tell you that you are obviously on crack.

I hope that everyone’s week is off to a great start!

Love, Kristie
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KENDRIE’S PERSPECTIVE:

WORST THING ABOUT HAVING CANCER TODAY: I still can’t quite get the hang of this new “no snack before bed” rule. If this keeps up, I might have to actually start eating my dinner when it is served to me (gasp!)

BEST PART ABOUT HAVING CANCER TODAY: For the first time, today I went to school with no hat on! It was “red” day and so I had on my red Hershey Kisses t-shirt from Hershey, PA, and the only hat I had that matched it is a baseball cap which my mom said I am not allowed to wear to school so I decided to go without a hat and nobody said anything to me and that made me very happy and I might not ever wear a hat again! Well, at least until tomorrow which is "yellow" day and I have a cute hat that matches my yellow lemonade t-shirt.