WWBC?

Welcome to the first (official) Not Quite edition of "WWBC?" --- or, more affectionately known as, "What Would Barley Chew?" Or, "What Would Brew Chew?" --- the terms are basically synonymous, because as much as these two dogs adore one another and play, play, play all day long, they've also taught each other the bad habit of chewing anything that's not nailed down. Or, as we learned this week, even chewing a few things that ARE nailed down.

Evidence for the week of May 4th:



Scrubber brush for outdoor grill. I can only assume there were some meat drippings or fat particles or *something* on this brush because why else would one of them ingest four inches of wood? I seriously doubt dogs care that much about their fiber intake.

Noteworthy because: The brush was safely placed on top of grill, out of reach. How they got it? Who knows.





American Express card. Duly noted that this is a promotional American Express card, delivered in the junk mail. Not sure if the dogs are trying to make a statement about my spending habits, or just liked it because it was shiny.

Noteworthy because: I open all the mail, and don't recall ever seeing this arrive. Beginning to suspect dogs are going outside, opening mailbox with their little paws, and taking items for themselves.




Various pens and pencils located God only knows around the house. Pens and pencils left ANYWHERE in the house are automatically fair game. Primary culprit: Barley. I can only assume she is stealing pens in an attempt to write her own ransom note, hoping to find a new family, preferably one that can afford a *real* American Express card.

Noteworthy because: Despite losing at least a dozen writing instruments, the human people in this house are still surprised every time it happens.





Shoe. Again. This is like, the fifth pair. Yet do my children think it might be wise to actually put their shoes AWAY when they take them off their feet? No, they do not. So prepare to see lots more shoe photos in future editions of "WWBC?" And prepare also to see the Escoe kids going around town barefoot because if they can't be bothered to put their shoes away at night, then I can't be bothered to buy more.

Noteworthy because: it's not noteworthy at all. They're shoes. They smell like leather and feet -- of course dogs love them.



Scarf. A gift to Brayden, and the one chewed item she is most annoyed about. Especially considering it was hanging from a hook in her locker, exactly where it should be, and apparently the dogs grabbed hold and dragged it out before chewing a hole in it.

Noteworthy because: It's such a fluffy, poofy scarf that I suspect she can still wear it and the hole won't even be noticeable. Also noteworthy because if these dogs are smart enough to grab a scarf, hanging from a hook, then they're smart enough to grab a dishtowel hanging from the refrigerator door, and bring me a Diet Dr. Pepper, right? Let the training begin!




Water jug. First, we took a plastic bowl outside to fill with drinking water for them, and they dragged it out into the yard and chewed it up (photo unavailable). So we bought a stainless steel water bowl, which they also dragged into the yard and dumped out all the water. Worried that they would go the entire day without water if that behavior continued, I bought this one-gallon water jug that you fill, and place upside down in its own bowl, and the water-pressure keeps the bowl full. Or some other scientific-y explanation like that. I filled it, placed it outside, and when I returned half an hour later, this is what I found.

Noteworthy because: I paid $15.99 for this water jug and bowl. They tore it up in less than half an hour. According to my calculations, that provided entertainment to our dogs at the impressive rate of $32.00 per hour, or $768.00 per day. I think next time I'll just by another nyla-bone for ten bucks and be done with it.

And thus ends this week's edition of "WWBC?" Tune in next time to see what other various and sundry household items the dogs have claimed for themselves and chewed into pieces .... we can only hope they chew up the vet bill from the exploratory surgery I have no doubt is in their future.