So, as the temperatures here have gotten up in the 70's a few times lately, I figured it was going to be time to break out the capris soon. Looking down at my legs, I figured I better a) shave them, and b) get some tan on them, unless my goal is to frighten small children when I show these bad boys in public for the first time.
To that end, I initiated the following conversation with one of the moms at my kids school ...
Me: "You sure have a nice tan, and already look good in your summer clothes."
Her: "Thank you."
Me: "Do you have a local tanning salon that you use?"
Her: "No, I don't tan."
Me: "Really? Because you have a beautiful tan."
Her: (pause) "You know I'm half black, don't you?"
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51 comments:
I so needed a good laugh tonight, and you just gave it to me.
thank you. Now, go pull your foot out of your mouth :)
Just kidding - it reminds me of something I would do/say.
trish
LOL That is so hilarious!!!
I am from south Louisiana and have that natural dark looking tan after only a few hours in the sun. I so appreciated this post!
Claire in Texas
Been there done that...it's so nice to know that there are others out there that insert foot into mouth all in one sentence.
Well, hell ... how were you supposed to know? Not sure how I would have responded to that one ... how did you respond?
Ann
I know how you feel, sort of. When I was visiting my daughter and her Military family in Germany years ago, we went to Disney Paris for a week. On the last day I bought my granddaughter a Cinderella doll that she could play with...brush her hair etc..(her mom makes her keep those barbie-type in the box). Well, back at our hotel that night she was so happy playing with her doll. I hugged her and said you are beautiful just like Cinderella. This five year old look at me, laughed and said, "Grandma, I'm not a white girl.".....geesh!
By the way, I'm looking for a tanning salon too.
Okay, that's just pee-my-pants funny. AWKward!!!
What's NOT funny but what's very typical of me is telling a gal how GREAT she looked since she had lost so much weight. I was kind of envious, actually (for a little while). I said, "You look great. How did you lose weight?" Her answer...."Cancer." I'm still feeling bad about that. Taught me a lesson, though.
Claire in Indiana
OMG Kristie, that is too funny! As the mom of bi-racial kids, now all grown up, (yeah, they do that to us moms :( I was at one time very sensitive to things like that. But I've come to realize that most folks really mean no harm, and can find the humor. Did your lady take it like a lady? I hope so.
PS: This is my very first time posting a comment, but I have been here lurking for a long time with your family. I have prayed with you and cheered with you, worried with you and breathed sighs of relief with you. You are a remarkable woman with a remarkable family. And that's all I have to say about that!!! Keep writing...
Holy shit! I just snorted my ice tea. That is just too good for words.
That's hilarious! Embarrassing, but hilarious.
I am feeling mighty white here too...and had a similar experience in the shoe dept. at Nordstrom today...there were cute little sandals but none in a color that would make me "appear" tan....the cute gal helping me held up a pretty peach pair and said, "I got these and they look great on....." - "Yes but you have beautiful skin color and I am so pale..."- the cute teenaged gal was also had natuarally dark beautiful skin.....so no sandals for me yet.
Ahem...that is funny to me, although probably not so much to you!!
Patricia, Georgia
LOL! Totally something I would say.
Smooth! Oh well. I laughed. You won't ever have to ask her that again.
Come hang out with me....an overweight white woman with two black baby girls! I've been asked so many funny questions and heard so many ridiculous comments that yours seems quite normal!
Dixie
That is too funny. I actually read that outloud to my husband. He got a good chuckle out of it too. LOVE IT!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! That was great! Thanks for the laugh! hahaha
dawn
The weirdest things happen to you.
As someone who's biracial, I think I can assure you that she wasn't upset by it. Though I have to admit, I do sometimes enjoy catching people flat-footed like that!
Did you them go on to say what lovely curls she has? You made my day. My 3 little boys are half mexican, we live in the UK, their skin tone is a novelty to all and sundry, I have even had one person say what great markings they have...MARKINGS? Isn't that what cats have?
Um. Did you about die right there. Me. I would have. I would have fallen over and died.
LOL
Haha!! Thanks for the laugh! That's a good one ;)
Renee in Canada, where it snowed just yesterday.
Oh my GOSH!!! That could only happen to you!!
I just clinked my glass of DDP to the computer screen!!
Cheers,
Cathy from Suwanee
That is hilarious - thanks so much for sharing.
Hey, I was wondering how you are doing seeing on the news tornadoes went through near you? Did you get any adverse weather at all?
You know, there's nothing wrong with an honest compliment! Even so, I know how it can leave you with nothing to say. I saw a friend at church a while back who had taught my son in Sunday School the year before. She used to have waist-length hair, and as we passed, I noticed her short, trendy bob and said "I LOVE your hair!" There were too many people behind each of us to stop, and I heard her words floating on the air as she continued on.. "It's a wig". Duh. It was a cute wig, and I DID take the time to call her and find out more about her breast cancer treatment. But man, that just sucks the air right out of your lungs, doesn't it?
You crack me up! Been there done that, except my foot in the mouth was with asking someone when their baby was due. And they weren't freakin' pregnant. I should have learned from the times you've blogged about that happening to you. I felt like an ass. And it was the secretary at my kids' school. Not a good way to stay on the good side of someone who basically runs the school.
Thanks for keeping us laughing and smiling!
I just read Pam's comment and it brought back another memory that was tucked way in the back of my mental closet in a box of embarrassments. I was relatively new to a singles group at a local church (this was waaaaaay back when) and during one gathering I commented to one of the gals how cute her hair was, and did she just get it cut? (because her bangs were shorter) Dead silence. Awkward glances. Questioning look on my face. She said that she just styled it differently. Later someone in the group informed me that she had alopecia (permanent loss of hair) and wore a wig, and she just happened to have it positioned on her head a little different, which made her bangs look shorter.
Wow. I really DO stick my foot in my mouth a lot, don't I?
Claire in Indiana
HA! Priceless!
A friend of mine reacts to these types of situations by reaching his hands out and grabs the air in front of him, then pulling the air back in towards him, hand over hand, while saying, 'Unsay, unsay, unsay!' I can visualize you doing that.
At least this woman got a good mix from her heritage. There are some freaky mixing of cultures in my family. One side is Irish and the other side is American Indian. (If you click on my blog and look at my hair, you can't deny there is some black/African American in there somewhere.) Anyway, I got really dark curly hair . . . .and red eye lashes and eye brows. What kind of freaky genetic makeup is that? All I can say is thank goodness for mascara!! (Oh, if you do click over to look at the picture, yes, I do color my hair, the almost black hair that I naturally have does not work with my fair skin.)
OH!! there is a story on abcnews.com about military wives and surrogacy.
OMG!!! Hilarious!! I bet you had hives break out on your neck over that one.
Rena'
Kristie,
Thats funny - thanks for the laugh this morning! I hope she didn't take offense.
Sherri in NC
LOL! Kristie - that is totally something I would say too! One time, when I was about 4 months pregnant w/Justin, we were at the (old) Braves stadium. It was a really hot and humid summer night and we had really good seats, very close to the field. When we wanted a frozen yogurt - the long hike up the stairs had to be taken. Well, yours truly passed out at the top of the stairs and had to be taken to the first aid room on the back of a golf cart. As I entered and laid down on the bed, I notice a lady on the bed next to me - noticeably more pregnant than I. Of course I had to open my mouth and say, "Gosh, they can dress us pregnant ladies up, but can't take us anywhere, can they?" To which she very nastily replied: "I.am.NOT.pregnant!" and promptly turned her back to me. I nearly died of embarrassment!
laughing.. out loud.. again..
Mary Burns
Albany NY
Ha!! I almost just spit my coffee out onto my computer. And how does one react to that?
OMIGOD Kristie---- Too, too, too Frigging HILARIOUS!
Funny - but then so are some of these comments!
Lord, girl - you are SOOOOO funny!!!!
El oh el! That's like asking someone if they're pregnant.
Please tell me this is an April Fools joke!!!
Sounds like you are doing a great job "fitting in" at the kid's new school!!! hehe!
We still love you!
Rhonda
Hey Kristie,
Too funny girl......I would so make a comment like that.....and then open my mouth to eat my foot:) LOL......I am curious what her response was..and dying to know what yours was...youch. Hey did you check out the Newsweek magazine this week? Just got mine out of the mailbox...........front cover is very relevant to you:0 Let us know what you think.
Please tell me this is your attempt at an April Fools joke!!! But something tells me it isn't!
Rhonda in Texas
I ran into an old friend and said "OMG Congratulations! When are you due?"
Yea she just got fat.
I just absolutely LOVE the fact that I am not the only person in the "Open Mouth, Insert Foot" Club! Kristie, you crack me up because you write so well, have such great experiences to share, AND you occasionally do some really goofy things, just like me!
That is absolutely hilarious, Kristie! I can see myself saying the exact same thing, but then again, I am pretty hilarious myself. ;)
Thanks for the frequent laughs.
That is so funny. Next time you see her, you say that is your way of exercising. (You know, lifting your leg high enough to get your foot in your mouth !!) Loved the story.
Mel
Don't you wish you were born with a tan like that? I do!
No twisters in your neighborhood?
well atleast you didn't ask her if she was pregnant!
OMG! I'm mwatching Biggest Loser right now and I have to agree with Blaine 100%......enough already with the tears!!!!
yes, I do watch this show with a bowl of icecream in my lap!
Hi,
I am new to your blog and loving it. Please check out mine (in particular my most recent post) and feel free to comment away.
Thanks,
Judy
http://averyopenbook.blogspot.com/
ROFL! When my son was about a year old, I still hadn't lost all of the 70 (!!) pounds I'd gained when I was pregnant and it was all still in my belly. One day in a checkout line, a perfectly nice woman asked me when the new one was due. I smiled sweetly and said, "I'm not pregnant, I'm just really fat!" Her expression was priceless! She couldn't deny I was fat since she'd just commented on what was essentially how big I was. She just stood there and stuttered as I smiled. It was one of the highlights of my life, to be honest, and she totally didn't deserve it. Don't feel bad, this is one of those things any of us could have floundered into and besides, at least you were complimenting her!
Thank you Kristie! That just made me laugh out loud and I needed it! haha! Like Claire, I have a natural tan and get dark very easily, so people often ask if I am puerto rican. My husband teasingly calls me his butter pican rican. My brother got tired of being asked, so he tells people that yes, we are in fact very proud to be. (we're actually just blessed with Cherokee heritage a few generations back).
Thank you Kristie! That just made me laugh out loud and I needed it! haha! Like Claire, I have a natural tan and get dark very easily, so people often ask if I am puerto rican. My husband teasingly calls me his butter pican rican. My brother got tired of being asked, so he tells people that yes, we are in fact very proud to be. (we're actually just blessed with Cherokee heritage a few generations back).
Where are you? I hope everything is okay.
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