Saturday, July 10, 2004


Week #5 of DI #2

aka. “Of course, I could probably eat my way out and that would be ok, too.”

Yep, that’s pretty much where we are with Kendrie, which is odd considering she went off steroids ten days ago. Her appetite for Kraft Mac & Cheese is unending. She went from 36 to 40 pounds in one week (all of it in her cheeks and tummy --- she hasn’t been this Pillsbury Dough-Boyish since induction!) I’m almost embarrassed every time I go to Kroger and buy four or five boxes. I know the people in line around me have to be thinking, “Geez lady, could you introduce your family to some VEGETABLES?!?

We had our looooooooooong day at the clinic yesterday. We are half way through this DI phase, wahoo! Unfortunately, the second half is notoriously harder than the first half, so let me remind myself not to break out the party hats just yet.

Started the day with an exam, a spinal tap, then had iv chemo and six hours of hydration. She was such a good sport all day; drawing, coloring, watching tv, reading, all day long, but asking me every twenty minutes if it was time to go yet. Then, ten minutes before she was finished with chemo, she fell asleep in the bed. Great.

So, in thinking about the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” reference to the macaroni, I realized there are probably lots of other catchphrases that can be slightly modified to fit our new, crazy life as a leukemia family. I thought it might be fun to name a few jingles here, then the modification that makes it a better fit for us. You see if you can name the products, which I’ll list at the end. Interactive quizzes are always so much more fun, don't you think?!? So grab a pen and get started! (If sitting through an eight-hour Discovery Channel marathon on the migration habits of the Zwahili tsi-tsi fly sounds like more fun to you, then I won’t take it personally if you skip right to the guestbook and sign in. Just let us know you were here!)

Original Catchphrase #1: Raise your hands if you’re _________.

Our Catchphrase: Raise your hands if the nurse can’t get a good blood return out of your port because sometimes flapping your arms like a chicken helps the blood to flow better.

Original Catchphrase #2: The fabric of our lives.

Our Catchphrase: The fabric of our life had better be some sort of stretchy elastic at the waistband after eating all these boxes of mac & cheese.

Original Catchphrase #3: Taste the rainbow.

Our Catchphrase: Taste the rainbow. And everything else on the bottom shelf of the pantry, if you’re on steroids.

Original Catchphrase #4: Don’t leave home without it.

Our Catchphrase: Zofran. Don’t leave home without it unless you want to be using your own purse or a Spiderman baseball cap as a puke receptacle.

Original Catchphrase #5: A little dab’ll do ya.

Our Catchphrase: A little dab? Hell no, you slather that emla cream on until there is NO skin showing through!

Original Catchphrase #6: Gee, your hair smells terrific.

Our Catchphrase: What hair?

Original Catchphrase #7: Please don’t squeeze the _____________. (Bonus point if you know who said it.)

Our Catchphrase: Please don’t squeeze my cheeks just because I look like a mini-sumo wrestler.

Original Catchphrase #8
: Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.

Our Catchphrase: Chemo melts in your mouth, gags you on the way down, and then spews back out at your parents without any warning.

Original Catchphrase #9: Sometimes you feel like a nut …. Sometimes you don’t.

Our Catchphrase: Trust me, a cancer parent feels like a nut most of the time.

Original Catchphrase #10 : The incredible, edible ___________.

Our Catchphrase: The incredible, edible whatever-the-steroid-craving-of-the-week-is.

Original Catchphrase #11: It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Our Catchphrase: Luckily, so do Kendrie and all these other great kids!
Answer Key:
1. Sure deodorant
2. Cotton
3. Skittles
4. American Express
5. Brylcream
6. Gee Shampoo by Jergens
7. Charmin/Mr. Whipple
8. M&Ms
9. Almond Joy/Mounds
10. Eggs
11. Timex

Well, I’ll stop there. So, how many did you get correct? I’ve got a dozen more or so, but I don’t want to bore everyone to tears. If anyone out there, especially any of the CK parents, think of more jingles that fit our new lives, please share them in the guestbook. I could put everyone else’s suggestions in the next journal entry. Sort of like when Kelly Rippa used to guest-host for Kathi Lee and everyone liked Kelly better, anyway.

Hope you are all having a great week so far!

Love, Kristie

WORST PART ABOUT HAVING CANCER TODAY: Today, it's tie between throwing up this morning all over the sofa and having my mom give me a shot in my leg tonight. Ick on both of those things. And ick on my mom for giving me the shot. And ick on my dad for holding me down!!!

BEST PART ABOUT HAVING CANCER TODAY: My parents don't even roll their eyes anymore when I ask for more mac & cheese. They have figured out it's easier to just get up and make it then to wonder where on earth I'm putting it all. Although if you take a good look at my belly it's pretty clear where I'm putting it all!

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