My Rainbow Flag Appears to be Drooping

OK, let me just say it up front, since I’m sure I’ll be accused --- no, I’m not homophobic. I’m not anti-gay, anti-lesbian, anti-anything-that-is-not-a-typical-nuclear-family-with-two-point-five-children-one-dog-and-a-minivan. I had a gay best friend in my 20’s and spent more time dancing in gay bars than straight ones. Some of my favorite co-workers have been gay. I *liked* the purple Teletubby; I thought Will and Grace was hysterical; I have lots of George Michael downloaded on my iPod, I have gay friends now; and a few of the best parents I know are gay. So,ok? We clear there? I have no problem with the gayness.

Why, then, am I so disappointed in the recent announcement by JK Rowling that Albus Dumbledore is gay? That he [quote] “fell in love with Grindelwald [a bad wizard he defeated long ago], and that added to his horror when Grindelwald showed himself to be what he was. To an extent, do we say it excused Dumbledore a little more because falling in love can blind us to an extent, but he met someone as brilliant as he was and, rather like Bellatrix, he was very drawn to this brilliant person and horribly, terribly let down by him." [end quote]

First of all … what? Excused Dumbledore? Excused him from what? For falling in love with the wrong person, or with a person who turned out to be completely different than what Dumbledore thought he was? I mean, that pretty much fits the bill for the majority of the human race at one point or another, so why does he need to be excused for it?

You know how I want to remember Dumbledore? I want to remember him as being the greatest wizard ever known. I want to remember him as a brilliant, kind, wise, empathetic, good-hearted, astute, prudent, almost-father-figure. (Yes, I know he's imaginary --- I just really loved him.) Gay or straight, I don’t care. But why are we bringing it up NOW, when the story is done??? I don’t understand --- How is his sexual orientation even remotely important here?

I’m sorta confused. Was there a story line or plot line I missed? Whether Dumbledore was gay, straight, trans-gendered, asexual, or worked nights as a Chippendale dancer --- what does it even matter? I would have been equally disappointed if she had blurt out that he was from the Wizarding equivalent of stereo-typical-Mormon-Ville and had twelve wives, or that Madame Hooch had a husband and four kids at home we never got to meet, or if she had mentioned after the fact that Professor McGonagall was a hooker who wore leather boots and a saucy bustier under that black robe of hers ---- Why does it matter? It changes nothing of the story, it’s not relevant, or significant to anything that happened, and as long as she’s not writing any more books, why put out new information at this point?

She obviously wasn’t opposed to developing relationships throughout the books --- there were quite a few hetero-relationships that occurred during the series -- Harry and Cho, Harry and Ginny, Ron and Hermoine, Hagrid and What’s-Her-Face, the Giantess, Tonks and Lupin (although seriously, did her name have to be *Nymphodora*??? That’s a little inappropriate, isn’t it?) Bill and Fleur, etc, even the mention of the unrequited love Snape felt for Lilly. If she had wanted to work a gay relationship into the story for Dumbledore, fine. I WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE WITH THAT. It’s certainly not that amid all this yin and yang-ness I begrudge one measly little homosexual relationship ---- it’s that there WAS NO relationship in the book for Dumbledore at all, so why does this have to be mentioned now? I feel a little bit like I’ve been tricked. I had finished reading the books, and mentally put everyone in the place I felt they belonged at the end of the story. JKR ended book 7 with a nice little synopsis that was very satisfying for people like me, who like their packages tied up neatly at the end with shiny bows. My middle name is “closure” and I thought I had gotten it. Now? Not so much.

Now, I need to revise my opinions and beliefs about Dumbledore because he is not the person I thought he was. Not because I like him any less, but because now I like him *differently*. I had never given one minute’s thought to his sexuality. Why would I? It didn’t matter. It wasn’t even on the horizon --- at all. Not even a SPECK on the horizon! Now, this changes things. Now, as Kellen and I prepare to begin reading The Prisoner of Azkaban together, having just finished The Chamber of Secrets last week, I can no longer sit back and just enjoy them with my son. I’ll be hyper-analyzing the story, looking for hidden meaning in her words, searching for clues that I missed the first ten times I read the book. Clues that will help me understand Dumbledore, (who is, in my opinion, one of the most freaking awesome characters ever invented in literature) a little better.

So, see? I’m not happy that he’s gay. Because this means more work on my part. I told you, I’m not homophobic. I’m just lazy. And as far as I’m concerned, this is all wrong because it means I’ve got to start thinking again. Geez, I hate that.

One good thing to come out of it ...

Kristina in Ohio, it’s funny you mentioned how you love to read, but you’ve simply never gotten into Harry Potter. I can tell you that I used to feel the exact same way. I wasn’t ANTI Harry Potter, I just couldn’t imagine what all the fuss was about. A boy? Who becomes a wizard? Or warlock? Or something like that? Whatever. I watched Bewitched when I was little, I can’t imagine it’s much different than that.

Sci-fi, which is what I assumed it was, has never held my interest. Even now, as much as I love HP, I have no desire to read LOTR, or anything else in the fantasy genre … Star Wars, Star Trek (yawn). I’m so uninterested, that I can’t even think of any other examples. I’m not saying they’re not good, so all you Tolkien-loving readers out there don’t slam me. I’m just saying it’s not the genre for me. Except for totally-hot-Jamie and Claire and the Outlander series, which is more in the fantasy-adventure-historical-romance category than the sci-fi category.

Anyway, back when Kendrie was on treatment, near the beginning, we had a day of specific chemo scheduled for the clinic and I had written it down wrong. I thought it was going to be one of the quick days, in and out, when really, she needed a chemo infusion. Which meant we would be there for hours, she would be pre-medicated, and would sleep through the whole thing. Probably just as good, since I was ill-prepared and had brought NOTHING -- no snacks, no drinks, no pillow, no blanket, no stuffed animal, no games, no dvd player, and nothing to read for me or her. This was back at the beginning of her treatment, before the new Scottish Rite clinic was built and before patients got their transfusions in private rooms (and parents could stretch out and sleep right alongside them, not that I would know anything about that, ahem.)

So there my four-year old lay in her stroller because patients didn’t have their own beds or chairs or tables, hooked up to her chemotherapy IV, and sleeping off the Benadryl and Tylenol. And there I sat in a chair … twiddling my thumbs … with four or five very long, very tedious hours stretching out in front of me. Bored out of my mind already, and needing to be quiet so she could sleep, I wandered over to the rolling library cart to check out what books might be available. Unfortunately, since the cart is intended for patient use, my choices were somewhat limited to those along the lines of Berenstain bears, Biscuit Goes to the City, and Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? I rolled my eyes and groaned inwardly … how on earth was I going to pass the entire afternoon without going insane with boredom??

Then, I saw a copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone on the cart. I thought to myself, “Are you kidding me? This is all they have? What about the poor teenagers who are treated here, what on earth do THEY read?” But I figured if it was HP1 or nothing, at least it might pass some of the time.

So I sat back down in the chair, propped my feet up, opened the book …. Read the first few chapters …. And that was all it took. I have been a bona fide HP fan ever since.

I didn’t have time to finish the book that afternoon before Kendrie woke up and we finished up her chemo appointment. So I, uh, “borrowed” the book from the library cart and brought it home with me. I don’t even remember where JK Rowling was in the series when I started …. Fall of 2003 …. But I know I whipped through the first several books as quick as I could get to Target to buy them.

And wondered, why on earth had I waited so long? This Harry Potter kid totally rocks! And yes, I might be 40 years old, but secretly I wish I had gone to Hogwarts.

So I guess if I’m being even more honest, I have leukemia to thank for introducing me to Harry and Ron and Hermoine. It’s one good thing to come out of it, because I doubt I would ever have read them otherwise. I’d probably be sitting back, snorting under my breath in my snobby way at all the weirdo-s who were so obsessed with the 7th and final book just released, instead of being the obsessed weirdo that I am today.

PS. So, considering I couldn’t have been more wrong about HP, should I give LOTR a shot?

PPS. Yes, I returned the book at our next visit, just in case you were wondering.

PPSS. So if you’re still reading, you must be a true HP fan. In which case, go here: The Escapist.
And read all the way to the end, including pictures. This site was referred to me a few years ago by a friend, and it is just as stinking funny now as it was then.. Ha!

Still laughing!

PPPSS. If you're not a HP fan, don't despair. I promise to shut my yap about it already.

Done now.

Except still laughing at The Escapist --- ha!

Spoiler Alert

:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:

Told you so.

It took me slightly longer to finish than I anticipated because I got a wild hair yesterday and decided I needed to re-read HP6, before receiving HP7 in today's mail.

But I'm done. And it was totally worth the crick I'll have in my neck tomorrow from being hunched over for the last day and a half.

Totally. Worth. It.

(PS. Danielle, Daniel, whatever. Although that *would* put a whole new spin on things, wouldn't it?) :)

My man, HP

I had a big night tonight. A night so big, perhaps, that if I confess, you will realize that deep-down, I am 12 years old. Can you guess???

I attended the Harry Potter IV "Goblet of Fire" movie, wahooooo!!!! If you're a Harry Potter die-hard fan like me, you've already seen the movie because it's been out 24 hours and what the heck would you wait on?

If you're not a HP fan, especially if it's because you have concerns regarding witchcraft and sorcery and the possibility it might lead children down deep, dark paths ....... well, seriously, you need to lighten up. It's a fabulous coming-of-age tale of good vs. evil, simply brimming with friendship, loyalty, adventure, etc. But, if you've never read them, don't bother going to the following website; I just don't know if you would appreciate it.

I have several favorite non-Caringbridge sites I visit on a regular basis that I've never shared with all of you because once I sent you there, you would realize that these people are all funnier than me, and then you'd quit coming here.

But, in celebration of HP4, I just have to share; go to this site for a serious laugh: Spellcasting 101: Don't Try This at Home Even if you're NOT a HP fan, I promise you'll get a chuckle out of it!

Have a great night .... I'm off to count down the days until the premiere of HP5!! :)