Definitions

Definition of "lucky": A woman who gets to go away, twice in four weeks, with girlfriends to scrapbook for the weekend.

Definition of "superwife attempt": A woman who feels a little guilty for going away twice in four weeks to scrapbook, so before she leaves, she washes, folds and puts away four loads of laundry, spit-polishes the house, sweeps the floors, and leaves a tasty yet nourishing stew in the crockpot for her poor, neglected, abandoned family.

Definition of "supermom attempt": A woman who really starts feeling guilty, I mean super-guilty, about leaving all the time, so she decides to drive home late at night, on the second night of the scrapbook retreat, in order to attend her children's soccer games the next morning.

Revised definition of "lucky": A woman who, driving home at 2am, gets pulled over by the county sherriff, for a burned out headlamp, and when he asks her to get out of the mini-van, so he can show her that the elementary school license plate cover she has on her van is actually obstructing the tags on her plate, and is therefore illegal, and yet she doesn't get a ticket for either one.

Even "luckier": That it is not illegal to look like total crap. Because if that police officer had taken a good look at this woman, in her inside-out sweatshirt, pajama bottoms, house-shoes, no makeup, and scrunchie hair ............ well, if they gave tickets for "pathetic", that would have been one stiff fine, indeed.