3rd Grade Hell

Note to Self:

Self? You are a moron. When are you going to learn? You are 40 years old and you’re still making the same dumb mistakes you made when you were a pre-teen. And a teen. And a young adult. And a not-so-young adult. Now, you’re middle-aged and you’re still an idiot.

Although certain parts of your 40-yr old body are changing … and expanding …. and drooping …. Other parts have not changed. Will never change. Parts like your big wrinkly forehead. Parts that you should be more careful not to draw attention to.

So please quit making the same stupid mistakes you made when you were younger.

Dear Lord, please deliver me from this 3rd Grade Hell otherwise known as “The Growing Out Of The Big Chunky Bangs I Oh-So-Optimistically Had My Hairdresser Cut This Afternoon Thinking I Could Pull It Off When I Totally Can’t”

Amen.