PROOF THAT DISNEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL

Day 41 OT

Ok, so maybe I don’t have PROOF-proof, unless you count the brains splattered on the windshield of my van from when my head exploded this morning during the drive to school.

Did anyone else, with kids under the age of 12 or so, have to endure the High School Musical Disney Countdown last Friday night? I mean, the hoopla leading up to this magnificent event would have led you to believe its importance rivaled the birth of the baby Jesus, or something. And Disney didn’t help matters either, by beginning the previews, oh, about last October, for Pete’s sake. My kids were more excited for the premiere of High School Musical (“Premieres at 8 o’clock, 7 o’clock central, Mom!!!”) than they were for Christmas. One good thing to come out of it was that I was able to get 48 hours excellent behavior out of all three of them, just by threatening that anyone who argued, whined, pouted, sulked, fought, or so much as breathed funny would be sent to their rooms, at precisely 8 o’clock, 7 o’clock central. So I guess I should thank the marketing wizards at Disney for that. And maybe it even helped them with their time-telling skills, considering there was a countdown timer in the right hand corner of the tv screen all day. Who knows?

But we watched it as a family, and were appropriately impressed with our children’s sing-along abilities, and Kendrie’s break-dancing talent, that she insisted on showing us during this song (that is playing now) which is her new favorite song. We laughed, we cried, we cheered as Troy and Gabriella overcame seemingly insurmountable obstacles in order to fulfill their destinies of starring in the Twinkletown Musical ….. you get the picture.

In case you were one of the lucky few who didn’t actually see the show (it’s really not that bad, as much as I’m making fun of it) it’s about a star basketball player and a “brainiac” who decide they want to try out for the school musical, much to the chagrin of their friends, team-mates, and families. According to the friends and team-mates, everyone has one thing they are good at, only one. To attempt doing anything else will apparently irrevocably alter the order and harmony of the universe. Or something like that.

The co-captain of the basketball team is especially offended, and thinks Troy is jeopardizing the team’s chances of winning the championship game, by not focusing on the team and thinking of the musical tryouts instead. He’s obviously never head of multi-tasking, or seen a mother cook dinner, help with homework, bathe the dog, and fold a load of laundry, all at the same time.

So anyway, long explanation notwithstanding for me to get to the point!!! The message the basketball players are trying to give this guy is “Stick with what you know, go with the flow”, ie, don’t mess up the one thing you do well by trying to do something new. There’s a big musical number in the cafeteria to this effect, and that is what leads me to my conversation with Kendrie this morning. It was actually the third or fourth time we’ve had this conversation since she saw the show last Friday. It goes pretty much like this:

Kendrie: “Mom, I have a question about High School Musical”

Kristie: (rolling eyes, thinking Dear Lord, here we go again) “Yes, sweetie, what is it?”

Kendrie: “You know how in the cafeteria, and the basketball team is being so mean to Troy, telling him he can only do one thing?”

Kristie: “mmm-hmmm” (Yep, here it comes)

Kendrie: “Well, were they really being mean, or were they just pretending?”

Kristie: “Well, in the show they were really being mean. But you know that they are all actors, and it’s just a movie, so really they were just pretending.”

Kendrie: “So they weren’t being mean?”

Kristie: “Well, they were pretending to be mean”

Kendrie: “So they really WERE being mean?”

Kristie: (getting a little exasperated) “They were *supposed* to be mean when they were acting. But it’s all pretend.”

Kendrie” “Because they were acting pretty mean.”

Kristie: “Yes, that’s what they want you to think.”

Kendrie: “So for real, truly, they were being mean?”

Kristie: “Well, yes. But only in the movie. I’m sure they’re not mean in real life.”

Kendrie: “You don’t understand what I’m asking you!!!” (getting very upset)

Kristie: (breathing tightly through nose … wondering who that Job character is and if I can borrow some of his patience) “No, I guess I don’t. Ask me again so I can understand and try to explain better.”

Kendrie: (gathers thoughts, tries a new tactic) “Well, ok. In the cafeteria, were they ***really*** being mean, or just pretending to be mean???”

Oh, dear God, and it just goes on and on and never stops!

Does ANYONE understand what she’s asking me? I'm actually looking forward to our little talk about the birds and the bees in a few years, as I can't help but think that it's gotta be easier than this!