Moments in time ....

A few weeks ago, I thought the funniest thing I had ever heard was a group of eleven year old boys, belting out "Jenny/867-5309" as loudly as they could in my van.

Today, driving down the road, I think the five twelve-year old girls singing "The Hairbrush Song" from Veggie Tales at the top of their lungs was even funnier.

Good thing my kids' friends are just as easily amused as they are.

IPOD Tag aka Nessun Dorma

While I do love me some Facebook, it seems there is always some kind of note or tag going around. Lately, its been "25 Random Things About Me" which I have REALLY enjoyed reading from others, although I'll confess I've been too lazy to do it myself. Today, my girlfriend Lisa tagged me for an IPOD note, which I found hilarious, so I did it right away. And because I'm all about the multi-tasking, I'll post it here as well as my Facebook Profile.

The only rule I probably bent was that I did allow myself to skip certain songs. I have many different playlists on my ipod (because I am a rigid, anal control freak) but in order for this tag to work, I had to shuffle "All Songs". When writing down my answers, I did allow myself to skip any song that came up from my Christmas playlist, my Halloween playlist, my Suzuki piano playlist and Brayden's Circle the State choral playlist. I accepted songs from my Christian Music playlist, my Current Kids playlist, Old Kids Music playlist, Dance/Exercise Music playlist, Inspirational/Ballad playlist, Soundtrack playlist, and Top 40/Basically, 1980's playlist. (I told you, I'm a freak.) And within those playlists, I did not allow myself to skip any songs.

Otherwise, here goes!

1. Put your iPod (or MP3 player) on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing the note as well as the person you got the note from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Roll With The Changes ………. REO Speedwagon

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
1985 …………… Bowling for Soup

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
We’re Not Gonna Take It …………. Twisted Sister

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Ironic ………. Alanis Morrissette

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Far Away …………. Nickelback

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Everything …………… Collective Soul

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
If I Can’t Have You …………..Yvonne Elliman

WHAT IS 2+2?
Kody ………………Matchbox Twenty

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Gypsy ………………… Dio

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Just What I Needed ………………… The Cars

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
My Heart Goes Bang ……………. Dead or Alive

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Big City Nights …………………….Scorpions

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Move Your Hands Up ……………..Clubraiders

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
It’s Raining on Prom Night ………………. Grease Soundtrack

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Cotton Eye Joe ………………… Kids Dance Party

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Could’ve Had Everything ………………..P!nk

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
You Oughta Know …………Alanis Morrissette

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Supermodel …………………Ru Paul

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
How Soon is Now? …………………….the Smiths

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Lonely Girl …………….. P!nk (now that’s just sad)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
I Know Where I’ve Been …………….Hairspray Soundtrack

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
I’d Do Anything For Love ……………… Meatloaf

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Breakdance …………….Irene Cara

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Sympathy …………………..Goo Goo Dolls

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
I Believe in You and Me ……………..Whitney Houston

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Take a Chance on Me …………….. Mama Mia Soundtrack

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Bad Reputation ……………………Shrek Soundtrack

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Nobody Knows …………….Pink

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Nessun Dorma…………….Paul Potts and the London Symphony Orchestra

Unsolicited CD Review of the Day

I know what a CD is. My question is, what is the difference between a "record" and an "album"? Does anyone know? When the music people give out the "Record of the Year", "Song of the Year" and "Album of the Year" awards, what the heck is the difference??? Can anyone explain it to me?

But that's not why I'm writing.

I'm writing to tell you, because no-one asked but I'm going to give you my opinion anyway ..... go get a copy of P!nk's "Funhouse". Buy it, download it, steal it, I really don't care.

Wait, yes I do. Don't steal it.

I have been a P!nk (and since when is she P!nk? I thought she was just Pink. It's like Prince turning into that little unpronouncable hieroglyphic ... what's with the exclamation point?) fan for years and own several of her cd's.

Funhouse is my favorite. Hands-down, and that's saying something. Every single song on this cd is sing-along-able. Except one, but I won't mention it, because I don't want to skew anyone's opinion ahead of time. Unless it's to skew you to download it. Because seriously, it's worth it.

You won't be sorry.

And if you already have it, I'd love to hear what you think.

I'm positive it will win Record Song Album of the Year. At least it will if my vote counts or anything.

Oh, wait. I don't vote. But still --- go get it.

Living Vicariously Through Them

Last night was Kellen and Kendrie’s first piano recital. The students played in order, from newest student to longest (?) student. So, it goes without saying, since Kellen started playing in February, and Kendrie started in April, that the Escoe portion of the recital was over in the first five minutes.

Kendrie is so new that she didn’t even play a song --- she played SCALES, for goodness sake. But still, they did well, and we took the requisite photos and video, and I was feeling quite proud of my kids. I’m not one of those obnoxious sports parents, reliving my glory days through my children, because when it comes to athletics, I don’t HAVE any glory days. My background, if I even have one to claim, would probably be in music.

When I was in the 5th grade, I decided to join the band. That was the first year in school that we were allowed to learn an instrument, and I mainly did it because my mom played the flute when she was in high school and I thought the stories she told about band sounded like fun. Plus, some of the cute fifth grade boys were trying out, so it only made sense that I should try out too, right? Because our school was so small, the elementary, junior high, and high school all had the same band director, a man named Mr. Moore.

After the first few weeks of basic music instruction on the recorder (which, for the record, I can *still* play the Marine Corps theme song, thank you very much) he pulled my parents aside and suggested the instrument I should learn was the French horn. Not exactly the dainty little flute like I had envisioned, but I was willing to give it a go. Already, only a few weeks into the program, I loved my new band director and whatever he said was golden, in my opinion. If he wanted me to play the French horn, then the French horn it was. I guess I should just be glad he didn’t suggest the tuba.

So in fifth and sixth grade, I learned to play the French horn. And despite the fact the instrument was almost bigger than I was, I enjoyed it. I learned with one of my dearest friends, who also played the French horn, who I am still friends with to this day. And I practiced, and took private lessons, and had a lot of fun in band.

When we got up into junior high band, those of us that were good enough were invited to play with the senior high band (again, one of the perks of being in a small school). So for seventh and eighth grade, I played junior high band, and senior high band, and marched in the marching band. We were actually pretty good, and got to compete and advance in district and state competitions, both individually, and as a group. At that point, you could probably say I was a certified band geek, because of how much I loved it. It wasn’t like band was ALL I did; I was involved in other school activities as well, but band was definitely my favorite.

It helped that I adored the director. He was a magnificent teacher --- patient, encouraging, helpful, strict, funny --- because of him, it wasn’t even un-cool to be in our high school band. We had lots of athletes, brainiacs, etc, also in the band. It was just a fun, satisfying thing to do, and because we were relatively good, we could all be proud of belonging. Everyone loved the director, but I thought he walked on water. Even on the days I didn’t feel like practicing, or would feel frustrated over a difficult piece of music, it never crossed my mind to quit, because he made it so wonderful and I loved it so much.

I got even more involved when, on Mr. Moore’s suggestion, I took private saxophone lessons for a summer, then joined the jazz band my freshman year, playing the tenor sax. It became my dream to grow up and play lead tenor sax for Maynard Ferguson. (Seriously, Birdland, anyone? Does it get any better than that? I don’t think so.)

What can I say? Band totally rocked. We marched in parades; marched at football games, played pep band at basketball games. We took trips to Missouri, Florida, and Kansas, for band contests. We attended concerts as a group, and we got to miss school for competitions (and when you are in high school, that is a HUGE perk!) Our stage band even went into a recording studio and made a recording once, which was awesome.

I loved band. Loved it. Loved Mr. Moore, loved everything about it. And not to toot my own horn (ha! Get it??? Toot my own horn?? Whoo-boy, I crack myself up) but I didn’t completely suck at it. I mean, Harvard School of Music wasn’t beating a path to my door, but the sounds that came out of my instruments were NOT total crap.

Then, the end of my freshman year, Mr. Moore announced that he was changing jobs -- he would be a professor of music at a nearby university. I was devastated. Happy for him, wonderful career opportunity, yeah, blah blah, but my ego-centric 14-year old world was crushed. Because of him, band was this wonderful, amazing, fulfilling, huge component of my life, and how would things go when he was out of it?

Terrible, as it turned out.

Our school made the mistake of hiring our new director fresh out of college. Not that *that* was a problem, particularly, but he had just completed his semester of student teaching at our very school. Maybe the school board thought that familiarity would make the transition go smoothly, but all it did was set up an environment of resent and disrespect. We had just spent an entire semester calling him by his first name, treating him as little more than a peer, and making fun of him behind his back because he was SO the complete polar opposite of the director we loved and missed …. And now, suddenly, he wanted to lead us. He had no experience, and was only a few years older than most of us. He didn’t have an ounce of authority figure in his entire body, or the ability to inspire or encourage any of us, yet he wanted – demanded -- our respect.

I’m ashamed, as an adult, to say that I totally, 100%, unequivocally, did NOT give it to him. Neither did anyone else. The shoes that this new band director had to fill were SO freaking huge, there was no way he could do it. He really never had a chance. We ripped that poor guy to shreds, and our band program went right down the toilet. On rapid-flush.***

I stuck it out the first year, and stayed in all three bands (marching, orchestra, and jazz.) Band membership dropped by about 30% that year alone, just on the announcement that he was the new director. My sister, who played the clarinet, had taken private lessons from him when he was a college student, and she quit the day they announced he got the job. Suddenly, it was no longer “cool” to be in our band.

After the first year I dropped out of stage band; we had gone from being one of the best in the state, to, well, horrible. It was embarrassing. The skill level of the members just plummeted and we couldn’t play songs even half as difficult as we had played before.

After my junior year, I dropped out of the orchestra as well. My parents had recently bought me a brand new French horn, which was a pretty hefty investment back in the day, and I just bailed. Words can’t describe how much I disliked the new director --- how my whole attitude towards band had nose-dived and it became a chore I hated, and was frustrated and embarrassed to be involved in. Oh my gosh, we SUCKED, and I wanted out. I can only imagine the frustration my parents must have felt as well, after making that expensive purchase and then seeing the instrument collect dust in my closet. Seven YEARS of music lessons and classes and competitions, and I pulled the drain.

My senior year, Mr. Moore invited me to play in his college orchestra, and I tried it for a few weeks, but the damage was done. My music skills hadn’t improved since my freshman year, and I had purposely gotten involved in other school activities instead. I was working full time as well, and quite frankly, couldn’t hack it at the university level.

My freshman year of college, I sold the French horn for spending money, and have never played a musical instrument since.

It is one of my biggest regrets.

I don’t regret dropping out of band --- it had genuinely become a miserable experience and I’ll never be sorry I quit. But I’m sorry I didn’t find other ways to continue my music; private lessons, community bands, anything. Perhaps if I had continued to play and learn and improve, I could have tried out for band at the college level and made myself a whole new set of wonderful memories.

I’ll never know, because I quit. Because I hated the new director, and he had ruined it for me.

I did keep in touch with Mr. Moore – he lived two doors down from my grandparents, so I saw him on occasion. In fact, he sang at my and Blaine's wedding, and my memories of him as my high school band director are still some of my most cherished.

Tonight, at the piano recital, one of the more advanced students was playing a very difficult piece and stumbled in the middle. She paused, thought about it for a moment, and started again. It reminded me of the exact moment in my past when I knew I was done with band.

It was my junior year, and I was at the district competition with my band-mates. I was competing in a French horn duet, a French horn trio, a brass ensemble, a saxophone quartet, and a French horn solo. You are scored at these competitions -- either a 1, 2, or 3, with minuses and pluses. Anyone, or group, getting a 1 on their performance advances to the state competition, something I had done every single year up to that point.

Maybe I had over-extended myself that year, playing so many groups, but I don’t think so. With Mr. Moore’s encouragement, I had competed in that many events in years past and done fine. I think my heart simply wasn’t in it anymore. Playing in a group, it was easy to fake it. But the solo was another story. My good friend, the other French horn player, was my accompanist, and we hadn’t practiced together much at all. You have to care about something to practice it, and I didn’t. Solo pieces, however, must be played from memorization ….. something which *does* require practice. Which I hadn’t done.

(Yeah, you can pretty much see where this is going.)

I got about half way through my French horn solo, and completely went blank. I had no clue what came next in my song, and tried to fake my way through it. I kept messing up, and my poor friend was trying desperately to accompany me as I slogged my way deeper and deeper into a musical mess. Finally, the head judge told me to stop, and get up and go look at the music to find my place. Problem was, I didn’t know how to read piano music. My girlfriend was discreetly pointing to the proper location in the music, and I had no idea how to read it.

It might have been one of the most embarrassing moments of my young life, up to that point. If I had had any poise at all, I should have simply apologized for wasting the three judges’ time and excused myself. But instead, I sat back down, and kept blundering through, making mistake after mistake, until finally I just quit playing in shame and disgust.

At that moment, I knew I was through with band.

It had gone from being one of my most proud accomplishments, and favorite activities, to an embarrassment -- something I couldn’t even be bothered with learning for a competition.

Tonight, when that young girl was able to finish her piece with skill and talent and self-assurance, I re-lived all those memories.

Now, (this is where it gets weird and you have to live in a small town to understand,) the reason Kellen wanted to take piano lessons in the first place is because a class mate of his played the piano in music class one day shortly after we moved here, and he thought it was cool. So I called that classmate's mother (who I used to babysit when I was a teenager -- more small town weirdness!) and got the name of their piano instructor, and signed Kellen up for lessons. Kendrie followed soon after.

Tonight, being a student of the same teacher, that classmate was also at the recital.

She is Mr. Moore’s great-niece, and he was there as well.

I hadn’t seen him in probably fifteen or twenty years, and I greatly enjoyed getting to chat, even for just a moment, with him and his wife. After the program, he came up and complimented my children on how they had done playing the piano. I made a joke about them being so new, and Kendrie only playing scales, and how hopefully next year they’ll be at a slightly higher skill level.

And Mr. Moore looked me right in the eye, and said, “Well, they’ve certainly got the genes for it, so I know they’ll do great.”

It has been 27 years since the man was my band director, and I still felt the most amazing sense of pride and happiness when he said that. Is that SICK?!?!?!?!

And honestly, I still feel sadness that I never explored any potential I might have had, but just gave up in the face of adversity. I’ve tried to remind myself over the years that when you are fifteen or sixteen years old, you don’t have the same skills or resources you have as an adult when it comes to handling difficult situations or difficult people. But still, the adult-me wants to look back at the frustrated-teenage-me and say, “Don’t quit! You’ll regret it!!”

Which is why instead of being an obnoxious sports parent, I’m fairly certain I’m going to become an obnoxious music parent, and never let my kids quit piano. EVER.

***PS. For what it’s worth, the new band director continued the downward spiral at our school for a few more years, until the entire band program was basically face-down in the sewer, no pulse, no respiration. Then he left our school and took the director position at another local high school, much larger; no-one there knew him and he wasn’t constantly having to try to measure up to his predecessor. Sort of a “no-baggage” situation for him. From everything I’ve heard, that band program was a huge success and he was very well liked. And while I’m glad for him, I must say that I’m still very sad about my own experience. And maybe a little bitter. And hmmmmm, perhaps I need therapy that it still bothers me even 27 years later.

THE PLAYLIST, PART 1

And the reason I say Part 1 is because in between the suggestions of my friends, and the browsing I did on iTunes, I have enough songs to make a whole 'nother cd, it was just really late the other night and I was getting tired and lazy. But Part 2 is definitely on it’s way. You know. When I'm not so tired and lazy. Like when my kids go away to college.

“Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera (both the radio version and the dance version)

“Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield

“Stupid Girls” by Pink (although I think it’s coming off the disc because even the clean version is not clean enough for me. Er, clean enough for my kids)

“Happy Girl” and “She’s a Butterfly” by Martina McBride

“I Don’t Need You (to tell me I’m pretty)” by Samantha Mumba

“This is My Time” by Raven

“Breakthrough” and “Fly” by Hope 7

“Miss Independent” by Kelly Clarkson

“Just a Girl” by No Doubt

“We Can” by Leann Rimes

“Stronger” by Britney Spears

“Supergirl” by Amy Anne

“Super Girl” by Julia

“What I Like About You” by Barbie Hit Mix

“Rush” by Aly & AJ

“Who Said” by Hannah Montana The song that is playing now --- love it!

Other songs that were suggested, that I either didn’t love *as much* or loved very much, but couldn’t find on iTunes:

“Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper

“Man I Feel Like a Woman” by Shania Twain

“Respect” by Aretha Franklin

“Dancing Queen” by A Teens or Abba

“Perfect Day” by Hoku

“Independent Woman” by Destiny’s Child

“All I Want to Do” by Sheryl Crow

“Brand New Day” by Forty Foot Echo

“I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor

“One Girl Revolution” by Superchick

“Can’t Hold Us Down” by Christina Augilera and Lil Kim

“I Decide” by Lindsey Lohan

“Watch me Shine” by Joanna Pacitti

“Ain’t No Stopping Us Now” and “Sisters” by Spice Girls

“Can’t Get Me Down” by Lo-Ball

“Girl Power” by Cheetah Girls

“Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson (I simply couldn’t put this song on the CD because it leaves me an emotional wreck every time I hear it. I know it’s about a small town girl, leaving home, but when I hear it, in my heart it’s about a child dying from cancer and leaving everyone behind and I wind up driving down the road sobbing and hysterical ….. not quite the cheerful feeling I was going for with this cd. But no, I don’t think my daughter’s cancer experience left me psychologically scarred or anything, thanks for asking.)

“Me Against the World” and “We Love” by Superchick

“Good Life” by Leslie Mills

“What’s Good for Me” by Lucy Woodward

“Girl Can Rock” by Hilary Duff

“I Love Life” by Melissa Lefton

“Me vs the World” by Halo Friendlies

Disney also put out a good CD called Girls Rock which I bought for Brayden last year. She took it to school and lent it to a friend --- hmmm, haven't seen it since, big surprise. So now she keeps telling me I need to buy her another one and I keep telling her this is called learning a lesson the hard way and what an allowance is for.

Thanks to the recommendation in the guestbook, I’m also looking at downloading the self-titled album from Barlow Girl, which is in the iTunes inspirational category, but seems to be pro-girl and very upbeat and catchy. I mean, my kids aren’t exactly going to sit around holding hands each evening and singing Kumbya, so this might be a fun alternative.

So anyway, those are the song titles I’m using (thanks to my scrapbooking buddy Laura for suggesting most of them) --- hope they can help some of you who want to do the same thing for your girls!

And yep, Kellen’s still a ninja-butterfly.

SHE’S A BUTTERFLY. APPARENTLY HE IS TOO.

Kendrie -- Day 242 Off-Treatment

Blaine -- Count down has begun; 29 days until we find out how well the radiation worked.

A few months ago, I bought the new Pink CD. Brayden promptly fell in love with the song “Stupid Girl”, and while I agree with the overall message of the song -- no need to be a bimbo, be proud to be smart -- there was still no way she was going to listen to the unedited version due to the language and sexual content. (Me? Yes. I not only listen to it, I sing it at the top of my lungs with the volume turned up and the windows rolled down …. but only when the kids are NOT with me in the car.)

So I was browsing iTunes a while back and noticed there was a “clean” version of the song available to download, and I decided to make a copy for Brayden. Then I thought, why not make her an entire cd of songs with positive messages for girls? Messages about being intelligent, and independent, and ambitious, and not letting other people pigeon-hole you. Not letting other people tell you what to think or how to feel or making you feel bad about yourself. I didn’t want anything anti-male, or bitchy. Nothing sappy about how “I can’t go on without you” or “You’re the reason my life is worth living” either. I realize she’s coming to an age where peer pressure will come into play more often, and where the warped body images shoved down her throat by the media will most likely influence her self-esteem. I mean, you *see* those girls dancing in the music videos or dressing like hookers, and you start to think it’s normal. She loves music and I thought this might be a clever way to slip some of my principles in without her noticing. Yep, I’m nothing if not sneaky.

I solicited song suggestions from my friends (the most oft-suggested song? R.E.S.P.E.C.T. by Aretha Franklin) and spent a few hours searching iTunes before making my selections. I was looking for music FOR girls, BY girls, ABOUT girls, that would promote the ideals of self-confidence, strength, and assurance in oneself. One song linked to another, which gave me the idea for another, and before I knew it I had twenty songs ready to go. As I was burning the cd, I realized that many of the songs applied to Kendrie as well, and especially to her battle with cancer. Songs about overcoming obstacles and challenges, being strong and true to yourself, and about finding happiness no matter your situation, so I decided to burn her a copy as well. Then I thought, hey, *I* like the songs as well, so I’d make a copy for myself. (By golly, I’m getting my money’s worth out of this music! Sneaky AND cheap, that’s me!)

When I picked the kids up from school that afternoon I had the cd playing in the van. Brayden immediately noticed and I told her I had burned her a copy. Then I got the expected, “That’s no fair!” from Kendrie, until I told her I had made her a copy, too. Then Kellen wanted to know if I made him a copy. Um, well, you see, son, these are songs FOR girls, BY girls, ABOUT girls (voice trailing off) …………. So Kellen is now the proud new owner of the following songs, just to name a few off the disk:

She’s a Butterfly

Happy Girl

Beautiful

Just a Girl

Miss Independent

Super Girl

And best of all: I Don’t Need You To Tell Me I’m Pretty

And he loves them, ha!

Of course, I was eager to promote the underlying messages to him, as well. His self-image matters, too, right? It's ok for him to be in touch with his feminine side, isn't it? He and I were alone in the van this weekend and the song “Unwritten” was on. The gist of the song is that you have your whole life ahead of you, nothing is carved in stone and you can write the story of your life yourself. So I’m thinking yes, I can skew this to a male perspective, this song isn’t very girly, and he and I have the following conversation:

Me: Do you understand what she means in this song when she says your life is unwritten?

Kellen: Um, no.

Me: Well, it’s about how you are the person to make your decisions in life and you should try to make good ones. How everyone's life starts out unwritten, but if you write something down, you can make it happen for yourself.

Kellen: No, that's not true. If someone wrote down that they were going to be attacked by an alligator doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.

Me: Well, no, of course not. But it means things aren’t carved in stone and you can change things for yourself.

Kellen: Who carves in stone? Stones are hard. I don’t think you can really carve in them.

Me: It’s just a figure of speech. It means that no one can tell you what to do or how to act. That YOU decide to be a good person and you can be. Do you know what I mean by a good person?

Kellen: Yeah, ninjas are good. I want to be a ninja. Do you think I can be a ninja when I grow up?

(Sigh) You know what? Forget it. Forget all the lofty standards I’m trying to share. I don't think he even HAS a feminine side. Let’s just turn up the volume, roll down the windows, and sing.